Continuing with my self-evaluation theme, I wanted to find out which superhero I most resemble. So, of course, I concluded, I would also need to discover which Arkham Villain my psychotic personality echoes as well. Best to keep things balanced. Here is what I learned. On the superhero front: I'm Batman! Alright, that kinda makes sense, until you consider that on the villain front, I'm Harley Quinn. What? How can I be both? Both the brooding, emotionally unavailable, mentally unstable Dark Knight and the psychotic, co-dependent, giggle factory that is Mister J’s Gal?
For awhile, I sat perplexed, until I remembered my Meijer Briggs Test results: Because of their refined intuition, INFJ personalities harbor an inherent suspicion about the people in their world. While they exhibit a generous affability amongst those they know well, they're innately apprehensive around new people. As such, they select their friends carefully, after significant time spent observing them and interacting with them. That said, once INFJs befriend a person, the bond is typically long-lasting and the connection is a deep one.” Deep bonding and affection for those I adore, and suspicion and apprehension with anyone outside my inner circle. Could it be that I’m Harley Quinn for my friends and Batman with everyone else? An interesting hypothesis, indeed, so I did some research.
With the help of Google’s search engine, I found Harley Quinn’s personal background and Meijer Briggs type, an ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Percieving). According to most descriptions, ENFPs are energetic, enthusiastic, good at sensing others emotional and physical needs, lively, fun loving, charismatic, creative, and have a tendency to idealize people. Huh, well, that might just work. According to the Batman cartoon and later the comic, Harlene Quinzelle was a successful criminal psychiatrist who first encountered the Joker at Arkman Asylum. Unfortunately for little Harlene, she quickly developed a fascination with the Joker's maniacal brain. Soon she fell under the criminal's control, changing her name to Harley Quinn, donning a clown costume, and becoming the Joker’s lover and accomplice. And because her Mister J loathes Batman, Harley spends her time attempting to destroy the Dark Knight.
Ugh! Is that me? Maggie, my saner counterpart, assured me it is. I’m Harley to my friends, crazy loyal and willing to attack anyone who upsets them. And, like Harley, when I fall for a fellow it’s due to a deep and intimate connection with his maniacal brain and complex soul. No matter what, I'll forgive with a warm: "Hiya Puddin'!" Maggie finds this quality a bit obnoxious and confusing.
Maggie: "Once every five years or so you pick ONE fish in the sea and you adore only that fish. There are lots of fellows you could go with but you don’t."
Me: "I’m funny that way. Call it misplaced loyalty."
I’d imagine, like me, old Harley’s “Feeling” score is through roof as well. In our defense, maniacal brains are super sexy! But how can the obsessively loving and obnoxiously loyal Harley Quinn be Batman? Makes no sense…unless you’re an INFJ.
The next step meant turning my attention to Bruce Wayne, an INTJ (Introverted, Initutive, Thinking, Judging). INTJs live in a world of ideas and strategic planning. They are natural leaders, intelligent, and hold themselves and others to unrealistic standards. As the story goes, Brucie lost his parents and then lost part of his mind, becoming a spandex wearing caped crusader who finds himself incapable of loving anyone or killing his enemies. He’s all fucked up. Hum…well, I’ll admit, to my way of thinking, the world is harsh and awful place. In terms of work or facing a new situation, I am a cold, calculating bitch who competes to win and believes life is a cruel game. The key to survival is learning not to flinch and feeling nothing. Thus, on the surface, ol’ Pointy Ears looks closer to my personality type than Harley Quinn. Except for the small fact that where Wayne is all rational thought, I score an 88% on “Feelings”. It’s disgusting but I’m all heart with those I love.
Yea, verily, my Inner Harley Quinn is always out to kill my Outer Batman. To be honest, I hate the part of me that is Harley. She gets me in trouble. If I didn’t fall so hard and care so much I’d be fine. My head wouldn’t get fuzzy. I like being Batman. He’s a bit of douche but he’s calculating, relentless, and powerful. Batman doesn’t shed tears like Harley. He'd never have a weblog. Harley is a liability. She feels too much and lets it all show. In her defense, I doubt she can help it. Most confessions are about survival not attention. Yet, if I rid myself of Harley, I’d amputate most of my passion and whatever is left of my ability to love. Even if I decided the benefits of removal outweighed the costs (and at the moment I do), I’m not sure its possible. People cannot become someone new, even when they find themselves unhappy with who they are. Oh, we can work on our faults and try to compensate, but who we are at our very core, that is fixed, even if its an embarrassing liability.
In my case, I suppose I'll start greeting my friends and foes alike with: "Hiya Puddin'! I'm Batman"