Thursday, March 22, 2012

Amusing Myself: Conquest, Comics, and Crazy Old Bastards

"She is starting to damage my calm," Jayne, Serenity 

"Pull your self together!  'What will you do?'  Is this a question?  You will show him you remember that he is Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who *you* are.  Well, you know where he is.  Go, confront the problem.  Fight! Win!" Edna Mode, The Incredibles

In times of Great Uncertainty and Anxiety Producing Circumstances, I like to remind myself of the quotes above.  Something about them causes me to stop, take breathe, un-clinch my stomach, and attempt to relax.  Oh don't get me wrong.  This Hysterical Weblogging Historian plans to sit still Frozen in Complete Paralysis rather than Confronting her Problem.  Would to God, I was Elastic Girl but, unfortunately, I am not.  Such being the case, Drastic Action on my part could lead to Dire Consequences.  No Sirree.  Best to lay low, hang in there, and hope for a small miracle.  Of course, while I'm doing those things, I must be entertained.  To that end, I spent part of the afternoon surfing and looking for things to amuse myself with.  Below are a few examples of Posts I found entertaining.  Enjoy.

Apparently, Alan Moore is flipping out again.  What about this time?  Well, the Metal Talon Wearing Snake God Worshiper (also the author of Watchmen, The Sage of the Swamp Thing, and V for Vendetta) has unleashed his rage upon DC Comics for creating a Before Watchmen series.  In response to the upcoming release (set for June), Moore called the comics medium "brainless".  As for his readers, well, watch out!  Old Al is coming after us as well: "As for the readers, I have to say that if you are a reader that just wanted your favorite characters on tap forever, and never cared about the creators, then actually you're probably not the kinder of reader I'm looking for.  I have a huge respect for my audience.  On the occasions when I meet them, they seem, I like to think, to be intelligent and scrupulous people.  If people do want to go out and buy these Watchmen prequels, they would do me an enormous favor if they would just stop buying my books." That's right, Kids.  Alan Moore has standards and perhaps both you and I are not even fit to read his work.  Once a Crazy Old Bastard always a Crazy Old Bastard.

David Mitchell is my favorite Comedian: a Biting British History Buff.  What more could we ask for? Here is his Soap Box Explanation of why Necrophilia should no longer be a Taboo.  Oddly enough, he convinced me: "If I were to wake out of a deep coma, just as the terms of my will were being enthusiastically honored, I wonder which of us would be the more dismayed.  I'd like to think it would be me but, maybe, that's just vanity."

My only explanation for the "One Does Not Simply Invade Russia" picture to the left is that A.) I appreciate that the creator offered examples of those who have tried and failed to take Mother Russia B.) I like Sean Bean.  I dunno why.  Whether he's hanging with the Nine in Lord of the Rings, pretending to be Ned Stark in Game of Thrones, or portraying an Irish Nationalist in Patriot Games (and kicking Harrison Ford's Ass), I always think: "Aw, Sean Bean, you're awesome."
*For information concerning a Napoleon Themed Amusement Park Click Here.  If you'd prefer Jokes about Vladimir Putin and Josef Stalin Try Here.  And if you're itching to read about Islamic Midgets in Fallujah This should do the Trick.  Finally, if you're dying to learn about selling Doritos to Aliens This One's for You.

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