Saturday, March 17, 2012

Afternoon Delight: Women and Their E Readers


“Let me ask you something first. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky fuckery at all?" 
My mouth drops open. "Kinky fuckery?" I squeak. 
"Kinky fuckery." 
"I can't believe you said that." 
"Well, I did. Answer me," he says calmly. 
I flush. My inner goddess is down on bended knee with her hands clasped in supplication begging me. 
"I like your kinky fuckery," I whisper. 
~E.L. James, Fifty Shades Darker

Well, Kiddies, because I find myself obsessing over a problem, aching for a solution, and wishing for a small miracle, I've decided the only fitting and proper thing for an Overwrought Lady of the Golden Dome to do is discuss Erotic Literature in a Public Forum.  According to both the Wall Street Journal and The Daily Mail, sales in erotica have risen by 30% "thanks to the development of E readers".  Who is the target audience, you ask?: Women. (Oh, you Dirty Girls)  That's right, the Female Sex is thrilled to get their hands on some Kinky Gratuitous Trash, as long as they can keep their purchases a secret. In particular ladies are clamoring to download a Steamy Trilogy written by E.L. James: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed (see quote above)  Apparently, the series has been "dubbed 'Twilight for grown-ups'".  The plot line, if one can call it that, centers are a "sexy entrepreneur who seduces a young graduate and draws her into his world of bondage and kinky sex."  To be honest, this description makes me think about The Big Lebowski: "Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, Man." Personally, what I find most interesting about the sudden upsurge in sales is that even in 2012 American women are shy about their sexuality.  Ladies and Gentlemen, just a piece of advice.  The next time you're in the mood for a Saucy Tale of Sexual Pleasure walk into a bookstore, grin at a salesperson, and admit: "I'd like a little Afternoon Delight."  

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