Sunday, April 1, 2012

Giant Angry Face: Anatomy of a Failed Weblog Post


Spongebob: "Patrick, help me. I'm spiraling."



Me: "Could you read the beginning of a weblog post for me?  Is it too much?

Friend: "Sure, send it over."  <I email the incomprehensible babble below>



"No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful.
They want what they're not and I wish they could stop saying
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa"


"I don't want to live in this world anymore
I don't want to live in this world."

In case the quotes are not obvious, its been a rough day: Parentals Predicting my Demise, Graphics Details of a Recent Death Trumpeted Over and Over Again, Family Members Marching Past My Newly Constructed Boundaries, and the Silence still Reigns.  That last part is the hardest because every fiber of my being wants to talk.  But fear is staying my hand.  What?  Don't judge me.  A.) This Muppet Diva Wannabe is Exhausted to the point of Hysterical thus, if the conversation went poorly, she'd dissolve into a Pathetic Puddle of Jennifer Nicole B.) Minus regular communication a sudden outburst suggests selfishness on my part. (i.e., I'm speaking because I need something from you rather than I'm speaking because I care about and miss you)  The latter is true but at this moment so in the former.  The only Solution is a Cocktail of Caffeine, Weblogging, and Self Pity Shaken Well and Served Over Ice.  Delicious


Friend: <Chuckling> "Well, Jen, its a little frantic. Kinda screams Giant Angry Face plus a Suggestion You Plan to Die."

Me: "I thought it was truthful while still being light hearted.  You know...funny in a sad way?"

Friend: "Well, maybe if everyone has listened to They Might Be Giants...and has spoken to you at length today.  More of a veil...and less frantic energy."

Me: "What needs to go?  All of it or is anything salvageable?"

Friend: "Well, not starting off with 'I don't want to live' or a swirling tornado of random seemingly unrelated events would be an improvement.  Listen, the post makes sense to me but I know everything that is going on with you."

Me: "Okay, I'll try again. Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa"


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