Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Ridin' the Crazy Train

Guess what Kids?: Today, I am Certifiably Insane.  Not Crazy like concluding that Caning a Man near to Death is the Proper Response to a Family Insult (Year: 1856.  Parties Involved: Charles Sumner and Preston Brooks.  Go become Historical Detectives, my Darlings)  No, its more of a Completely Irrational, Unfounded Insanity resembling Cruella Deville's Obsession with making a Fur Coat out of Dalmatian Puppies minus the Desire to Skin and Wear Puppies. (Here is an article about Undaunted Puppy Flinging. Enjoy)  Because Yours Truly is Incapable of Making Good Sense, allow me to provide an example.

Friend says: "Hi Jen.  How's it going?"

I hear: "Jenni, I've never liked you.  You're an awful person and stupid.  Go away."

Now, the Good news is: I knew when I work up this morning I was crazy.  Thus, rather than responding: "Why you would say that?  I'm sorry.  Don't hate me." I force myself to repeat the EXACT words spoken to me.  After a careful replay, I conclude: "Perhaps it wasn't as bad as I first thought...maybe?"  Though one can never be sure about hidden nuance.  

I finally respond in a timid manner suppressing a flinch: "Its okay.  How are you?"

Nope, there is no moral to my story.  Why would you expect that?  I'm crazy today.  Any attempt at a moral would be nothing more than nonsensical ramblings: "Blue plus Seven Minus Kittens eating Bears Equals My Life is Falling Apart"  There.  Is that what you wanted?  Well, go figure out what it means because hell if I know!

No comments:

Post a Comment