Top Ten Things I Miss from the 80s in No Particular Order
3.) Belinda Carlisle's Heaven Is a Place On Earth: "Ooo, baby, do you know what its worth? You make heaven a place on earth. They say in heaven love comes first. You make Heaven a place on earth." Are you singing along, my Darlings? You can't help yourself, can you? You are singing along because Belinda Carlisle was awesome and that's why she is in my 80s Top Ten.
4.) Side Ponytails: No, this is not me, but in grade school my hair looked exactly like this. Honestly, I don't know a gal with naturally curly hair that doesn't wish for the 80s. It was a freer time. When big hair was celebrated with hairspray and high bangs. All those chicks with straight hair getting perms in order to duplicate what nature had given us Curly Girls. Those were the days, my Friends. Those were the days.
5.) The Bangles: "Close your eyes. Give me your hand. Do you feel my heart beating. Do you understand. Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame?" On most Saturday afternoons when I was a kid you could find me with my cassette player belting out tunes by this all girl band. In fact, the only other band that came close to approaching my love for the Bangles was Wilson Phillips, but that's another story for another blog post.
6.) L.A. Gear High Tops: These shoes rocked. No really, just stop and look at them. The over use of the color white. The thick laces. The snazzy velcro at the top. All fashion statements from the 80s I dearly miss. Not to mention, for those of us with weak ankles, high stops were the bomb.
7.) Tee Shirt Clips: My parents rarely allowed me to wear Tee Shirt Clips, and for that reasons every single day of my life, I wake up and wish I could wad up my blouse and tie a knot in its side. Why did we lose Tee Shirt Clips? What was wrong with them? Someone answer me that. You add big bangs, a side ponytail, and some high tops and you're stylin' my Friend.
8.) Cool Toys in Happy Meals: In my day, McDonalds Happy Meals came with Fraggle Rock figurines, French Fry Transformers, Looney Toons Characters, and Muppet Babies Stuffed Animals. That's why you buy a Happy Meal people. Its for the kickass toy. Children today are so freakin' confused with their meals of apples and white milk. NO! A kickass toy, a coke, fries, and hamburger. That's a Happy Meal. Go sell you New Age Granola Hippy Philosophy someplace else. I'm not buying.
9.) The California Raisins: Listen People the California Raisins were awesome for three reasons. 1.) Claymation Rocks 2.) They're SINGING Raisins 3.) They allowed an entire generation to go Trick or Treating wearing nothing more than a garbage bag (i.e., a California Raisin). Boom!
10.) Jellies: Okay I'll admit I'm not sure anyone misses Jellies but me. My mother had an absurd phobia concerning this Sparkly Shoes and refused to buy me a pair. She cited falling down a hill in flip flops as a child as a valid reason for denying me even the smallest of luxuries (i.e, my fucking jellies). To this day, I search shoe stores for a pair jellies in hopes that these tacky rubber shoes will heal my scarred psyche.