Monday, December 24, 2012

And So It Is Christmas

"And so it is Christmas and what have you done?  Another year over and a new one begun." ~John Lennon

Because its almost Christmas and because Yours Truly is fighting back tears (its hard to be certain about the things that matter most): Here are the Top Five Things I'm thankful for this year.

1.) Ringing in 2012 : Last Christmas Eve, I cried myself to sleep.  The next day I drove back to South Bend on Christmas Day and ate dinner alone at a McDonald's in Indianapolis.  As if that wasn't enough, my oh so Merry Christmas was proceeded by a hellish six months of psychiatrist appointments, torrents of tears, and terrible uncertainty.  Thus, this year I can honestly say I more than a little grateful to put 2012 to bed.  

2.) My Brother: Listen, Kids, I am fucked three ways towards the weekend, and putting up with me on a regular basis isn't always easy.  When my world fell apart this year, my brother, who is busy with law school, stepped up and took care of me.  Thus, each time I struggle with despair, I remember I have a brother who cares about me and wants me to stick around.  That's enough to slow me down and make me think.

3.) Drugs: If you happen to be bipolar, meds are a gift from God.  No, really, I'm serious.  My meds keep me from bouncing between soul crushing depression and sleepless mania.  Therefore, my delicious daily cocktail of drugs is in my Top Five.

4.) My Bible Study Ladies: Sometimes, what a Gal needs when she's down and out are Fairy Godmothers to make her fancy dresses and keep her from pricking her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel...but, I don't those so you can stop envying me now.  But I DO have four very wonderful ladies in their sixties who pray for me, support me, and even made me a birthday cake this year.  That's something to thankful for, I think.  I LOVE my Bible Study Ladies.

5.) Someone Special: Again, Children, I am fit for a straight jacket.  Really, ask my psychiatrist.  This means I am liable to email about ten times a day if I am feeling a little lost...yeah, I'm that annoying.  And if you'd have asked me last Christmas if this particular person would still be in my life, I'd have promptly burst into tears and said most likely not.  But a year later, and I found out miracles do happen. 

So what is my point?  Well, listen, I doubt I'm getting what I wanted for Christmas this year...and that's hard.  But you know what?  It might be silly but I still believe in miracles. If I review 2012, I know my God is a God of miracles (Psalms 77:14) and this year that's what I'm praying for.

No comments:

Post a Comment