Saturday, January 26, 2013

For the Longest Time

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad, I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time.

Billy Joel's "For the Longest Time," has been one of my favorite songs since I was a little girl.  Yes, imagine it.  Me a chubby cheeked six year old, with wild curls, and a Casio keyboard declaring to the world I've been a fool for lesser things than love.  Yeah, I was obnoxious.  I grew out it though and into a paralyzed and emotionally unstable middle aged woman.  Yet, to this day, for me, "For the Longest Time" has remained right up there with Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You."  And there's somethin' odd in that. Because, lets face it, I'm fucked three ways toward the weekend, and have the emotional stability of a thirteen year old.  Honestly, right now, I am having an anxiety attack for no real reason other than I feel panicky.  Don't ask me why.  If insanity made sense, I wouldn't need so many meds.  But, maybe, I like those songs because, crazy or not, and scared or not, I don't care about the consequences of chasing after something or someone I care about.  It terrifies the hell out of me, but it ain't gonna stop me.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I won't be calling anyone to say "I love you"...that's a suicide mission, People.  But, I think I will give myself room to invest.  Cause lets face.  I do whether I mean to or not.  I mean, look at me.  I'm a woman who uses Capitalization at will, names her Cats after Serial Killers, and cannot keep her Heart from Falling Out her Mouth. What else can ya do?

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