Wednesday, January 30, 2013

True Blood, Medication, and a Reason for Everything

Just think, there's a purpose for everything that God creates, whether it's a unique ability, an over-priced cup of coffee with to much milk, or a vampire.  Okay, I'll admit...I LOVE HBO's True Blood.  Like Charlaine Harris' books, the series is marked by action sequences followed by orgasms, lots and lots of orgasms.  And while that's great and all, what I enjoy most is Sookie.  Truth: Listen, Kids, I'm little different.  The reasons why are complex and personal.  But like Sylvia Plath, I like people too much or not at all.  And I rarely like them too much.  What that means in real terms is that I rarely become overly attached, and that goes double for the opposite sex.  I love the idea of romance, but I have to feel something.  And feeling something is a problem.  I learned to shut off at an early age.  To make jokes.  To laugh.  To pretend the ugly things don't bother me.  Its all good.  My friends tell me in some ways I more stable than most.  I don't come and go in my feelings.  The answer is YES or NO.  Most people have more gray area.  They exist on a continuum.  But I feel too much or nothing at all.  Maybe what I like about Sookie is the innocence aspect of her character.  She just likes Bill.  Not banging everybody and their brother.  Because, lets face it, I ought to be more experienced.  Tougher around the edges.  Fall easier.  Let go more quickly.  Excited to touch for the sake of touching.  No feeling attached.  Just arousal.  But I can't, and, I don't. I hurt and cry too often.  You'd think I'd be stronger by now.  I'm not.  Maybe there is a reason for that, I dunno.  But for the moment, its time for some medication and another episode of True Blood.     

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