Thursday, January 31, 2013

Watercolors, Comfort Zones, and Middles

"As for me, I am a watercolor.  I wash off." (Anne Sexton)  Counseling Days are rough, my Friends.  Seriously, we discuss being "My Best Self" which I have come to find out means throwing me outside my Negative Little Comfort Zone.  Like most People, I do not care for being tossed out of my Safety Zone and Submerged in the Cold, Cruel World of Learning Experiences and Growth.  Terrible stuff.  Leaves me reeling for days after. According to my friend Maggie, the issue is simple.

Maggie: The problem is you have no in between.  There was no stops between the Super Awesome, I'm Amazing, and Entitled to Everything Manic Jennifer of a few years ago, and the I'm Worth Nothing, Look Away Jennifer of Today.

Me: What can I say? I've never had middles.  Its a problem.  

Really, that's what we need to discuss in counseling, Guys.  Where am I suppose to get middles from because its a mystery to me!  What's worse is that with the People I Love and Care about the most Yours Truly is Needy and Unsure.  I don't feel worthy of their time and attention which only makes me more work for them.  I need to Straighten Up.  Fly Right.  But I'm not exactly sure how.  I scare easy and cry with little provocation.  I'm like a watercolor.  I wash off.  Where can I purchase some Middles?

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