Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Xanax, True Blood, and Bed
The medication has worn off. Tears around the edges of my heart and eyes have replaced the sleepiness. The thick, dull feeling that leaves me sluggish, but numbs the pain is gone. A broken mind and a tight heart. Words that hurt light up in my head like flashing neons signs. The tape in my brain replays the same few tracks. Someone please turn off the lights. Stop the recorder. Give me peace. I feel trapped inside my own body. Physical pain is more bearable. It is centered. Real. We understand its simplicity. Something is gashed, torn, or broken. We have done damage. Sometimes, I forget that I can do that sort of damage to myself. Once we've committed the act there nothing left to do but wait it out. Its time for another Xanax, True Blood, and Bed.