Tuesday, March 12, 2013

What Meds Are You On?

Are you sitting down?  Okay, good.  Now, watch this Clip from Silver Linings Playbook.  DO IT!  If you have finished, than you may continue reading.  Here's what I love about this scene: It's honest.  This IS what its like for Bipolar and Depressive patients still struggling to stabilize to hang out with Uber Normal People.  Normal People feel bad.  They stare at their salad.  Wait for you to stop talking and then change the subject.  Thus, if you're on a Shitload of meds, like me, than what you learn real fast is that admitting that fact often leads to uncomfortable situations.  I mean, its one thing to say "Oh, I just take zoloft."  But it's a whole other when you say: "I'm on 5mg Abilify, 300mg Wellbutrin, 300mg Zoloft, NAC, Synthroid, and Xanax as needed."  Yeah, that's right.  I'm a walking drug counter.  And here's the other thing: Often times, I do say more inappropriate than appropriate things.  Stuff just pops right out of my mouth.  I don't mean for it, too.  Thankfully its rarely unkind.  Just awkward.  I'm awkward.  I rarely attach to People, but when I do its too quickly, felt too deeply, and stays with me for far too long.  And that's the thing, Guys.  Sometimes being Mentally Ill is so lonely and isolating.  Because even the people closest to you don't always know what to say.  And if I were stronger and more courageous, I might tell them: Just talk to me, like you care.  I'm still me.  I'm still here.  I'm just struggling right now.  

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