Thursday, May 16, 2013

It is Well With My Soul: Trust, Mediation, and Fear

"I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more." ~C.S. Lewis

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path's straight.

Dearies, Subtly is simply not a part of my Genetic Makeup.  My Natural Inclination tempts me to shove until I receive the negative response I am expecting.  But, with time, I am learning that some things in life are about waiting.  And, Folks, waiting is not easy for me.  But, then again, if I am honest, I really want the good outcome, not the devastation I fear most.  I want to be shocked, surprised, and thrilled.  A veritable Vanessa Williams song: "Just when I thought our chance had passed, you went and saved the best for last."  Despite the fact, I am terrified of being hurt again.  Of falling back down the Rabbit Hole, and finally, like Sylvia Plath hurling myself under the wheels in a Rabbit Fear.  Preparing, methodically, for my final escape.  But, here's the deal: If I believe there is a God.  And every night, I ask Him to do whatever He wants, but please save me from devastation again.  Then I have to trust that He hears me.  Despite my fear, He's there and taking care of things.  Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In the end, He has taught me to say: It is well.  It is well.  With my soul. (Okay, its not well with my soul right now, but I am assuming this is a practice kinda know like mediating.  You don't become a Buddhist monk overnight.)

In 1873, Hortio Spafford wrote the words to this hymn after the death of his four daughters.

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