Saturday, June 29, 2013

Your Racist Friend

"Is what I is" said a tearful Paula Deen in an interview with Matt Lauer this past week.  And what is Ms. Deen?: A Racist.  Why you ask: For using the N-word (how often is up for debate right now) and dreaming of throwing a "plantation style wedding" for her brother...with "all black servers."  I'll pause while you draw an uncomfortable breathe.  Yeah...that one is pretty hard to deny, and Deen merely shook her head when questioned about the affair.  When asked whether she understood that the slur was at all times inappropriate, Deen claimed she wasn't sure what offended people due to the language she hears in her kitchens.  Alright then.  So what has being a racist cost Ms. Deen?: Almost all of her Business Partners: Walmart, Sears, Kmart, QVC, Target, JC Penney, and Random House Books have all dropped Deen.  

"Your Racist Friend" brought to you by They Might Be Giants. Enjoy!

Friday, June 28, 2013

Android: Netrunner

When Life gives you Sadness and Heartbreak play Boardgames.  Or if you're me, play Card Games.  Yep, like Anne Shirley, Yours Truly is in the Depths of Despair, yet again, and what better way to perk up than with a New Game?  More specifically: Android: Netrunner.  This Two Player Card Game pits a Hacker (Player 1) against a Corporation (Player 2).  The end goal for the Hacker is to steal 7 Agendas from the Corporation while said Corporation attempts to either A.) Kill the Hacker (how violent!) or B.) Complete 7 Agendas.  Having only played once, I'll admit though pretty cool this game is a little confusing and rather intricate, but, then again, that's just the type of Distraction I was looking for so no complaints here.  Go Check out Android: Netrunner now.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Drowning in the Silence

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.”
― Robert Louis StevensonVirginibus Puerisque and Other Papers
How did I become so obnoxious?  What is it with you that makes me act like this?  I've never been this nasty.  Can't you tell this is all just a contests?  The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest.  But baby I don't mean it, I mean it, I promise. ~Pink, "Please Don't Leave Me."
In the midst of painful silences, I think we project our worst fears onto a situation, and in doing so, we become the worst versions of ourselves.  Unlovable.  Gullible.  All the Nasty -Ibles and -Ables really.  Personally, before I can fall silent, I give one last ditch effort to hold on tight and pray things will turn around.  Thus far, no dice.  And, now, as the quiet covers the distance, I swing from wishing I were something more, something better, someone worthy of the love I want to preparing insults, ugly words and unkind thoughts, my protective armor.  Because saying "Please don't leave me" is simply not an option.  (Begging earns you nothing but pity; never do it)  We either draft that psycho email; send that crazy text; make that ugly call.  Or like me, drown in the silence listening only to the lies.    

Monday, June 17, 2013

Wounds: Distance and Grace

“I hurt myself deeply, though at the time I had no idea how deeply. I should have learned many things from that experience, but when I look back on it, all I gained was one single, undeniable fact. That ultimately I am a person who can do evil. I never consciously tried to hurt anyone, yet good intentions notwithstanding, when necessity demanded, I could become completely self-centred, even cruel. I was the kind of person who could, using some plausible excuse, inflict on a person I cared for a wound that would never heal.”
― Haruki MurakamiSouth of the Border, West of the Sun
Healing is never easy.  As you nurse a wound, you wonder: Did he mean to inflict this type of damage?  Does he even care?  The answer you find in the silence is no on both counts.  You are blip on his radar and, while, your day is full of hiccups and pitfalls, his goes without a thought to you.  How did it happen?  When did it happen?  There was a time when he never made it onto your radar either.  And do these questions even matter?  My answer: Probably not.  The best thing you can hope for is distance and grace.  Distance because with it comes a form of indifference and grace because the last thing you want is distance. 

Tumbling: New Blog

I, Jennifer Nicole, am guilty of treason in the first degree.  That's right Bloggers.  I've started a Tumblr account.  <gasp of horror and disgust>  What's more, I spent all weekend Tumbling, and I LIKED it.  That's right.  It felt good. Maybe this is a temporary fling, or, maybe, it will turn into something more serious.  We shall see.  But, in any case, here is the link, just in case my readers are interested in my illicit blogging affairs.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Blow Me

"I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much." (P!ink "Blow Me") Time for a change, Kids.  Not sure what the future holds, but I've had enough of this.  My life hurts like hell and I've reach my limit.  Jennifer Nicole is checking out and moving on.  "I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much.  Blow me one last kiss."

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I Haven't Miss It. Really, I Haven't.

I wasn't intended to have that kind of happiness...and I haven't missed it.  Really I haven't."  
~The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.

Really, I'm Quite Content

“I'm really a very 

happy, contented 

little person 

in spite of my 

broken heart.”  
~Lucy Maud Montgomery 

Confidence of a Rejected Railway Sandwich

"The worst is the thought that they 
tried you out and, in the end, the 
whole sum of parts adds up to you 
got stamped REJECT by the one 
you love. How can you not be left 
with the personal confidence of a 
passed over British Rail sandwich?”

Friday, June 7, 2013

Little, and Bitchy, and Broken, but Still Good

Yours Truly is having a meltdown.  Its Beautiful.  The Booms and Bright Lights that now Decorate my Apartment Commemorate my long and haired History of Insanity.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is okay right now.  This Gal has been used up and spit out.  And that's Another Thing <she says changing topics randomly>: In the midst of such Turmoil, I've decided my Bedtime is now Sacred and that Anyone who interferes with my Beauty Sleep shall be cast out into darkness.  And there will be Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth.  Okay, I'm done.  Yep, that's it.  Get out here and go get the Life I don't have.  As for me, maybe I will do the dishes before I go watch Frances Ha, by myself, because I can (and because no one up here in this hell hole wants to see it with me).  Or maybe I'll just go back to sleep.  Either way, Taadaa!!! I made a blog post.  Its little, and bitchy, and broken, but still good (an improvised Lilo and Stitch quote, in case you're wondering)

Sunday, June 2, 2013

At My Best: Good Times and Bad

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.  I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.  But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~Marilyn Monroe

Only a few people have seen me at my worst and stuck around.  Now in all fairness, listen, my worst is pretty fucked up.  And, in all reality, I am not sure my best is anything to brag about.  But I know this: The Few Awesome Individuals that hung in there with me during all the emails, phone calls, and hysterical breakdowns (yes, the occurred on a daily basis) will always have a piece of my heart in a way others can't.  Because that's the thing.  We remember those who were with in the good times, but I think we hold onto the people who saw us through the bad ones.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Only Prettier: Bless Her Heart

Well I've been saved by the grace of southern charm
I got a mouth like a sailor and yours is more like a Hallmark card
If you wanna pick a fight, well, I'm gonna have to say goodnight.
I don't have to be hateful, I can just say "bless your heart."

"Bless your heart."  Those three little words are always, and I mean always, followed by an insult.  Ahhh, Southern Charm.  You see good Christian women aren't suppose to gossip, call names, and partake in general bitchiness, but they do.  So in an effort to appear more pious, American Church Ladies found a loophole.  You see, they bless their victim's hearts before proceeding to rip them out.   Ouch.  <Yeah, Guys, it hurts when some bitchy person reaches in your chest and rips out your beating heart, Wick Witch Style> And yeah, I won't lie.  Yours Truly has a dark side.  I've blessed a few hearts in my day.  Some I regret.  Others not so much.  But it seems to me that having a song, like Miranda Lambert's "Only Prettier," that celebrates female general cruelty is a little sick.  As someone who grew up on fried green tomatoes, country music, and revival Sundays, allow me to offer Ms. Lambert some advice: Celebrate who people are not how they look, then, Ms. Lambert maybe you will look a little prettier, bless your heart.