Saturday, June 1, 2013

Only Prettier: Bless Her Heart

Well I've been saved by the grace of southern charm
I got a mouth like a sailor and yours is more like a Hallmark card
If you wanna pick a fight, well, I'm gonna have to say goodnight.
I don't have to be hateful, I can just say "bless your heart."

"Bless your heart."  Those three little words are always, and I mean always, followed by an insult.  Ahhh, Southern Charm.  You see good Christian women aren't suppose to gossip, call names, and partake in general bitchiness, but they do.  So in an effort to appear more pious, American Church Ladies found a loophole.  You see, they bless their victim's hearts before proceeding to rip them out.   Ouch.  <Yeah, Guys, it hurts when some bitchy person reaches in your chest and rips out your beating heart, Wick Witch Style> And yeah, I won't lie.  Yours Truly has a dark side.  I've blessed a few hearts in my day.  Some I regret.  Others not so much.  But it seems to me that having a song, like Miranda Lambert's "Only Prettier," that celebrates female general cruelty is a little sick.  As someone who grew up on fried green tomatoes, country music, and revival Sundays, allow me to offer Ms. Lambert some advice: Celebrate who people are not how they look, then, Ms. Lambert maybe you will look a little prettier, bless your heart.

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