Wednesday, July 17, 2013

On the Job Market

Below You will Find the Top Five Things I have learned while Applying for Jobs.

1.) Time Warner, Pixar, and Disney own EVERYTHING I REALLY ENJOY.  Marvel Comics.  DC Comics.  Vertigo Comics (my personal favorite).  DreamWorks.  You name it, its probably owned by one of the two companies.  In fact, Disney even owns ESPN, not that I find that channel particularly entrancing, but still.  Some naive, stupid part of me thought that I could go work for an independent comic book company. Think again.

2.) Online Job Applications are Hell.  No, really.  The Websites are Forever losing your Password.  I mean, dammit, I KNOW what my password is.  I just used it yesterday.  But once its gone you just have to fill everything out all over again.  And here's the real kicker: You know as well as I do that filling out 20 job applications isn't enough.  No, try, a thousand and then you'll possibly get somewhere.  Perfect.  I swear the websites lose the information as part of an evil plan to see how dedicated applicants are to finding employment.

3.) Cover Letters: I HATE cover letters.  Unlike your resume which you finish and go on with you must tweak the cover letter for every single fucking job application whether you are applying to be a publicity assistant or a university training specialist all the jobs require a specialized cover letter so keep Word open and be ready to tweak away. (Okay, I've heard every single resume should be tweaked as well but I'm going with a High Volume Strategy.  So Shoot me!)

4.) Publishing House Jobs need better descriptions.  Seriously, I would like to know how much this gig pays.  Because here is the deal: I am a realistic woman and I happen to know any job with a publishing house will probably involve atrocious hours.  I've made my peace with that, but if I plan to give up my life for fulfilling work then I want to know a dollar amount involved here because lets face it I already tried being fulfilled with no pay.  Its called Grad School and I've had my fill.  

5.) Finally, why aren't I more talented and why didn't I get my shit together earlier?  Do you know how fucked over Grad School leaves you?  DO YOU?  All my experience is in higher education or waitressing.  Neither one qualifies me for the jobs I want.  And I'll be honest here: If I were more talented, then I could just blog or write a living.  But, alas, no.  Those of us who can't write must work on the lower echelons of the food chain.  

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