Monday, July 15, 2013

Poor Life Choices: Grad School

“She had been living like a hermit herself, in a cramped, seedy apartment in Somerville, spending long hours in the lab. All-nighters had become a regular thing. She didn't have any close friends, didn't go out on dates, didn't even go to the movies by herself. She had sacrificed a normal life in order to get a PhD, and become a scientist.” ― Michael CrichtonMicro

In the course of their Graduate Careers, most Grad Students will, after five or six years of exhausting and mind numbing work, come to a crossroads in which she questions the very meaning of life and, then, examines the Poor Choices that lead to this devastating moment.  "What was it all for?" she'll moan in a broken little voice.  Of course, after a proper mourning period, most Graduates finally realize what other people realized right out of Undergraduate School, that they have one of Three Options at this point.  

A.) Continue Forward, Take the Verbals Abuse, Accept the Vague Instructions, Embrace the Endless Amounts of Research, and Attempt to Finish this So Called Dissertation that No One, not even Family Members, will ever Read.  

B.) Move Back in with Your Parents and then Promptly go Insane as they attempt to monitor your Bedtime despite the fact you are Three Decades Old and Graduate School has taught you to sleep all day and write all night.  Revert back into Childhood.  Wake up at 7am, eat Fruit Loops, then pretend to work on the Dissertation that isn't getting finished for the Job that's never coming.

C.) Lower your standards (which in all honesty is raising them), Wake up at a Proper Hour, and Attempt to Get a Real Job.  Then, theoretically, Starting Paying off the Crushing Amount of Debit you Accrued while pursuing "Higher Education"

In my opinion, the least loathsome of three options is "C," and for that reason, Yours Truly applied to fifteen different jobs through Corporate Disney, Marvel Comics (also Disney), HarperCollins, Random House Books, Penguin, and Vertigo Comics (actually Warner Brothers).  Now that I've got those fifteen under my belt, I just need to fill out about a thousand more applications and this process ought to be well on its way.  

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