Book reviews, film anaylses, and general hysterics from a waitress turned historian.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Bluck: Just Keep Swimming
“One by one I drowned all the people I’d been.”
Sometimes I wonder why there is such a thin line between adoration and nausea. Lately, especially since the meds have kicked in and I am getting healthier, I've been experiencing this phenomenon. Things I wanted so badly. People I'd have given anything to get a little affection from. They're fading. And in their place something akin to disgust is growing. What the hell was I mooning over? Was someone, anyone?, really worth that type of self-torture? What did I get back for my investment? Hard fast answers?: No and Nothing! In my defense, I fall the hardest when I'm really ill. I was unable to shield myself from the hurt that kept on coming. But now the old Jenni is returning (notice I've dropped Jennifer. That's significant, Folks). I'm Jenni Nicole. The use of Jennifer marked my loss of identity. But no more. So what do I say to the past: Bluck! Like Dori the Fish, I intend to just keep swimming, just keep swimming.