Thursday, August 8, 2013

Won't Break Down Here

"Someday I'll wish upon a star.  Wake up where the clouds are far behind me"

Guys, its time for me to leave South Bend.  I can feel it.  The yearning to move on, to restart someplace new, get stronger every day.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I've made some wonderful friends in here, Adam, Leslie, Paula.  I will always love them both for who they are and how they supported me through such a difficult period in my life.  But the fact remains, I associate this place with being sick, with getting hurt, with tears.  There are things and people I want to leave behind.  Because right now my life is still a Julie Roberts song:

I'd sure hate to break down here
Nothing up ahead or in the rear-view mirror
Out in the middle of nowhere, knowing
I'm in trouble if these wheels stop rolling
God help me keep me moving somehow
Don't let me start wishing I was with him now
I've made it this far without crying a single tear
I'd sure hate to break down here

But each day it gets easier.  Each day I move a little farther away.  Each day, I come a few steps closer to getting my life back together.  And it is possible to get my life back.  Be thin again.  Be happy again.  Be confident again.  Each day I get a little closer. And today, I found out I made past the first elimination round for a job I want in Lexington, Kentucky, and that puts me just a little closer to my goals.  Someday I'll wake up where the clouds are far behind me.  Just not today, but I won't break down here.

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