Thursday, November 14, 2013

Owls and Tornadoes

"I'm an owl on your window sill in the evening," sings Neko Case in "This Tornado Loves You." 

I have waited with a glacier's patience
Smashed every transformer with every trailer
'til nothing was standing
65 miles wide
Still you are nowhere
Still you are nowhere
Nowhere in sight 


Still you are nowhere.  I waited, Guys.  Longer than I should have for Him.  Hoping, praying even, he'd care about me the way I cared about him.  Maybe that's why can't I go home at night.  I'm still crestfallen during those supposedly restful hours.  I night I have time.  Time to think about Him.  Time too mourn.   Time to cry. My days are so full lately, you'd think I'd be tired when night falls but I'm not.  I don't want to go home.  I don't want to sleep.  I'm a Tornado or maybe I an owl, or maybe both at the same time.  Sometimes the owl, sometimes the tornado.  Either way always whirling about.  I don't want to think about him.  It hurts.  I hurt.  The frustrating part is that on a very basic, rational level, I should be fine.  I shouldn't have to avoid the city He resides in.  I shouldn't hurt anymore.  But I've never been that way.  "Its never easy come easy go with owls you know."

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